How to find a date online

1. Decide what type of online dating site best suits the type of people you are looking to meet as well as your budget. If you are looking to meet a broad spectrum of people, you might try a large public site like Match.com or Yahoo! personals. If you are looking to meet a specific type of person you might try a more niche-focused site like JDate or AsianFriendFinder.com.
2. Subscribe. Keep in mind, there is a broad range of prices for online dating sites. More expensive sites can charge as much as $50 per month. Most sites offer discounts for multiple months purchased at one time. When you are just starting, you should probably buy just one month and see how well you like that site. If you do and want to continue, you can re-subscribe for a larger number of months at a lower monthly rate. Many sites (like EZDate 123 and Plenty of Fish) also have free trials.

Free Video Chat on Stargazer Video Chat is a great way to meet new people.
3. Take (at least) one good picture. Whether you are a male or female, having at least one flattering, recent photo will dramatically increase your chances for success. Profiles with good pics usually get as much as 10 to 20 times as many e-mails. If you get an overwhelming number of e-mails (often happens for especially attractive females), you can always choose to hide your pic later. If you don’t have a good recent pic, some sites offer links to professional photographers. But usually just a digital camera with some decent lighting will do the trick.
4. Create your profile. Each site asks for slightly different information and/or essays. Try to keep it simple, but if you’re witty, let that show. Your opening line is important and usually what will set you apart from others. The best advice is to just be yourself, since you will find it is very difficult to be convincing acting like someone else. Even still, you definitely want to put your best foot forward. No need to disclose that you’re still hurting from your recent break-up or you visit a therapist 5 times per week here. There will be time for that later once someone gets to see the fun, easy-going, more attractive side of you.
5. Identify people you would like to meet. Now for the fun part, browse through profiles or search by keywords to find the people you think you might like to meet. Women, don’t feel like you have to wait for men to contact you. It is perfectly acceptable to make the first contact with a man, and you will often have excellent results when you do.
6. Check for reviews about them. Before you meet someone online, or even before you contact them, you should check to see if other people who have met them have entered reviews regarding the truthfulness of their profile. Do this by visiting a review site like TrueDater.com and entering the correct dating site and profile ID for the person in question. If you date the person yourself, you can also enter a review yourself to help future people who will meet them.
7. Contact them. Send them an email or if you prefer, IM them. Be natural, be conversational, mention a detail from their profile so they know you really read it, and make a little joke. Humor is great for breaking the ice and starting the conversation.
8. Talk by phone. After you’ve traded enough emails to feel comfortable, the next step is usually to talk by phone. This gives you a chance to get to know the other person a little better and get a feel for whether you will have chemistry in person. Don’t feel obligated to meet someone in person just because you have talked to them by phone. If you feel uncomfortable or not attracted, you can tell them, “It’s been great talking with you. I’m busy the rest of this week. Why don’t we talk again next week.” This way you can harmlessly end the call without an outright rejection, and if you find you change your mind you can always call them or accept their call next week.

from http://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-Date-Online

Chat Etiquette

Online chat has traditionally been used to make friends or stay in contact with them, but it quickly emerged as an effective tool for business communication. It enables you to chat with clients, colleagues and your boss. It is fast, cost-effective and best of all, it functions in real time.

You should establish a dedicated account, distinct from your personal chat account, for business chat. This will ensure that you don’t have any clients harassing you at home and it will also prevent any embarrassing mix-ups at the office.

So whether you are using AOL, Yahoo or MSN, there is etiquette to be maintained — especially if you have an impression to create with your business chat.
create an identity
When choosing a nickname or user name, avoid youthful ones, such as ”Cool dude 24” or “Ski bum 99.” In order to maintain your professional dignity, keep it business-like and simple.

If your name has already been taken, try adding a unique number in front of it or behind it. For instance, add your vehicle’s plate number to your name to make it unique and easy to remember. You can also try adding your department to your name, as in “Steve_sales” if you work in the sales department.
availability status feature
All IM applications allow you to set your status as ”Available” or ”Away” and the like. Some also let you customize messages like ”I am in a meeting until 2:30 p.m.” You will upset people if you leave them waiting for a response when your status is set to ”Available,” but you are away from your computer. Don’t forget to update your messenger’s status.
think before you hit enter
Proofread your text before hitting the enter key. In situations where emotions are running high, one wrong word can turn a difficult situation into an explosive one. You need to check for spelling and tone before you send a message.

If, at any point in time, you accidentally hit the send button before proofreading your text, send a message that highlights, between stars, the correction that you would like to make. This extra step in your communication shows that you care.
be polite
In the instant messaging world, you won’t be judged by the color of your skin, eyes, hair, your weight, age or clothing — not even your accent. What you will be judged on, however, is the quality of your writing and the protocols that you adhere to.

Learn to bite your tongue by pinching your fingers…

Address your communications with such expressions as “Goodbye,” ”Thanks for your time” and ”Good day.” Once you have done this, wait to be addressed by the person on the other end before you terminate the chat session.

It is possible to politely refuse or redirect a customer’s unreasonable demand, empathize with a colleague, apologize to your boss, and sound polite, professional and courteous with the right choice or words. Here are some standard chat phrases you can use:

* “I’m sorry, please let me redirect you to my (insert title) who will be able to help you.”
* “How may I help you today?”
* “Thank you for being so patient.”
* “We value your input.”
* “I’ll get right back to you.”
* “I’m glad I could help you.”
* “Would you like me to review anything else with you?”
* “I’ll take care of that right away.”

font, text, color, and animation
TYPING YOUR MESSAGES IN UPPERCASE is considered rude — it gives the impression that you are shouting or being aggressive. Be careful with your font size — typically a font size of 10 or 12 is used and expected. When you choose a font style, stick to something conservative like Arial or Times New Roman in black letters. Do not choose something like Monotype Corsica characters in hot pink.

It is annoying and distracting to use animation in a business chat. It does not portray professionalism on your part or on the part of your organization. Save it for personal conversations.
language and tone
During a business chat, spelling, grammar and tone matter.

Ensure that your positive tone prevails. Use first-person and second-person pronouns to help create a positive tone. Care must be taken when you structure your sentences as well. Instead of saying things such as, “If you complete the report,” restructure it to say, ”When you complete the report.” The former sounds aggressive and may put someone on the defensive.

When using the chat technology, don’t forget the basic grammar that you learned in primary school. Begin all new sentences with an upper case letter, capitalize all proper nouns, and do not forget to capitalize the pronoun ”I” irrespective of where you use it in a sentence. Beware of spelling errors. It may be useful to keep an accessible list of the most commonly misspelled words.
jargon, slang, abbreviations
When used in live chats and instant messages, this can help reduce keystrokes, but it may come across as unprofessional to the person you are communicating with. Until you get to know a person better or see them using the same lingo, it is best to steer clear of slang like LOL (Laugh out loud), BRB (Be right back) or JAM (Just a minute). If the other person isn’t familiar with the lingo, it may confuse them.
Emoticons are useful in setting your tone, however, stick to conservative ones like a simple smiley

You better show that you’re listening to your client and don’t shoot him down…

You can use abbreviations that are acceptable and comprehensible by both chat partners, especially when both parties are in the same organization. These sometimes include COB (Close of business) or EOD (End of the day). The appropriateness of their use will vary across different company cultures, and will also depend upon the recipient. Above all, sound professional.
listen and pay attention
Used sparingly and appropriately, words like “OK,” ”alright,” ”sure,” ”definitely,” ”great,” and ”absolutely,” will help show that you are listening. You can also use phrases like “I hear you,” ”I’m listening, please go ahead” or ”I understand what you are saying.” Stay away from gutturals such as, ”mmhh” and ”ah” to show you are listening — it looks unprofessional.

It helps to be cooperative during a chat. For example, if a client asks a difficult question, instead of replying with ”no clue” or “beats me,” answer with something along the lines of: ”Good question, Mr. Smith. Hold on for a minute and I’ll find out.” The few extra keystrokes may help you land the deal or at least become a preferred representative that Mr. Smith likes to deal with.

Avoid multiple chat sessions, especially while chatting with clients or your boss. You may miss an important point in the other person’s messages or lose the gist of the conversation.
don’t rush it
Give people enough time to respond. “Machine-gun” messaging is a good way to get people to ignore you in the future. Multiple questions sent to a recipient before they have had a chance to answer can seem more like an interrogation than a conversation.
use caution with humor
Humor is very culture-specific. There are all sorts of cultural and personal differences among people from different places, so what may seem funny to you may be considered weak or even offensive to others. For example, LOL may be acceptable while chatting with a colleague. Your boss, however, may take offence because he tends to be more formal.
chatting up a storm
A business chat can be a great way to build relationships with colleagues and clients. Getting chat smart is something you should work toward as quickly as possible before you get left behind. Nevertheless, know your client or boss and their preferences — if they prefer a phone call, you better call.

From http://www.askmen.com/money/career_150/159c_career.html

Comebacks to Pickup Lines

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.

Test your combacks on Live Video Chat now!

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

(from theromantic.com/humor/pickuplinecomebacks.htm)

Cyberflirt: 6 Do’s and Don’ts of Email Courtship

The art of making a good first impression on a man has changed considerably with the advent of online dating. Using this medium, it’s not necessary to check if there’s lipstick on your teeth but rather if there are typos in your profile. And how can you tell if the guy who sounds so great on “paper” is the real thing? Most importantly, once you and a cyberbeau initially ‑- pardon the pun ‑- click, how can you gracefully move it offline? Here are the do’s and don’ts of email courtship:

1. May I Have This Dance? Feel free to initiate contact with a potential Mr. Wonderful. As in real life, male online daters commonly make the first move, so a note from an attractive woman like you will be the highlight of his day. Keep it short but include something that shows you relate to particulars in his ad: “I was drawn to your love of swing dancing.” He wants to feel singled out, not receive a cookie-cutter response that could be sent to every man on the site.
2. Capital Offenses. Your mom likely told you it’s rude to shout, but she didn’t forewarn you that USING CAPS IN YOUR EMAILS is the same as yelling. The woman who gave you life probably also neglected to advise you to beware of men who communicate via “winks” (an option to contact another member to convey interest, without writing a message ‑- or paying), one-word responses and “collect calls.” The former two are lazy with a side order of obnoxiousness; the latter expects you to pay for the privilege of receiving his email.

   Online dater Sharon Hodgson has her list of top tacky transgressions. “Obviously looks are important and you should expect the other person will want a photo. But when the first thing a respondent asks is, ‘Do you have a picture?’ ‑- often when he hasn’t posted one! ‑- my radar is up.” Hodgson also cites emoticon offenders. The University of Maryland social worker sniffs, “I can’t take anyone seriously who is constantly doing LOL or smiley-facing or even writing shorthand. People shouldn’t be so casual in emails.”

3. Just Say No. Women typically get swamped in emails, so they let slide the ones from men that don’t interest them. While not a cardinal offense, it’s a little cruel to keep him hanging. Send an acknowledgment along the lines of, “I’m complimented that such a great guy wants to know me a little better. Unfortunately I don’t see us as compatible. But thank you so much for writing and best of luck.”
4. Honesty Lite. Emily Calvo explains, “I am not advocating lying. It’s important to tell the truth.” The author of 25 Words or Less: How to Write Like a Pro to Meet That Special Someone through Personal Ads quickly adds, “However, don’t tell too much too soon. A little mystery is better than a lengthy soap opera detailing all that analysis has taught you.” Give the essentials with a positive spin. For example, it’s important for him to know you’re a single mother. But don’t complain about your stresses. Instead, share that while you love your kids, it’s time for you to develop a personal life.

   At this early stage it’s also important to share information that might quickly uncover a major incompatibility. Say he’s allergic to animals and you have two kittens. Or you’re a vegetarian and he’s a butcher with a rib roast fixation. And he’ll realize you’re a night owl if the timestamps on your emails are 2am rather than 8pm. Better to suss out potential roadblocks sooner than later.

5. From Computer to Coffeehouse. Resist the temptation to get caught up in an online love affair where each of you writes increasingly lengthy and intimate life histories. It’s impossible to discover whether you’re suited until you’re sharing oxygen. How many emails should it take before you get together? National dating coach Patti Feinstein says, “Emailing back and forth for a month never works. Once a mutual agreement is made that there is interest, it’s best to meet in a public place as soon as possible.”

   Online dater Sherry Alpert attempts to set up a phone call and/or a date after two or three reciprocated emails. “The ones who won’t do it I call ‘toe in the water’ guys. I’ve noted to them that prolonged emails are a waste of time.” Her firmness usually eliminates the vague “let’s get together sometime” emails. If the man refuses to be pinned down for a meeting without a valid excuse (ie, an out-of-town trip is on the horizon), she’s soon outta there.

6. Post-Date Email. Scenario 1: If you like the guy and don’t hear from him within a few days, it’s fine to shoot off a quick email: “Thanks for the drink and the fun company. I really enjoyed meeting you.” He’ll either contact you for a date or not. If it’s “or not,” cut your losses and move on. Scenario 2: You don’t like the guy and he keeps bugging you for a return engagement. Just send a quick note: “While I truly enjoyed meeting you, I just didn’t feel we were compatible enough to pursue a relationship. But I wish you all the best.”

From http://love.ivillage.com/snd/sndonline/0,,r9ps,00.html

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